Shawn M. Finch, DVM

It was almost ten years ago I accidently killed my own dog while anesthetizing him for a routine dental cleaning.  I have not lost a dog to anesthesia before or since.  I have lost two cats and a kitten to anesthetic deaths, all prior to Obie.  I have anesthetized thousands of patients with no complications.  Statistics don’t matter when your pet is 100% dead.

Obie was brought into the hospital I worked at in Littleton with his friend Herbie Dog.  Their owner had passed away and their caretaker did not know what to do with them.  We had Benji Dog at home.  Obie came with the name “Benji” so we renamed him Obie (O.B.) for “Other Benji.”  For ten months, it was really fun to have three goofy old Poodles to walk with and play with and just hang out with.  You will have to get Max the Cat’s side of the story from him.

Obie died first, suddenly and tragically.  I don’t remember how long our team performed CPR, I just remember we didn’t hold back with anything we had, and were exhausted and shocked when we finally quit.

Benji died also suddenly and tragically five months later, but with none of the horrible heart-clawing guilt to go with the sorrow.  And Herbie, Herbie was the best of all I suppose.  We had him euthanized at sixteen and a half years of age when he could no longer function due to the severity of his arthritis.  Less than two years after we adopted Benji, our first dog, and all three were gone.  My grieving for Benji and Herbie, if the strands can be seperated, which of course they can’t be completely, was sad and straight-forward and almost complete.  My grieving for Obie was jagged and painful, stilted and at times abandoned, an open wound that I did not know how to treat.

I have always struggled with depression, but the struggle has been multiplied since losing Obie.  Struggling is better than not struggling I suppose.  I was seven months pregnant with my first baby, Amanda, when Obie died.  I really wanted my Grandma Amanda to meet my daughter Amanda.  My Grandma Amanda died the same month as Obie did.  I warn clients that when two horrible things happen in a short span of time, the grief is not added, it is multiplied.  And I hover to make sure they are ok.  But I let them assume that I know because I am a veterinarian, not because I still cry when I try to revisit September 2000.

Obie was our blind dog.  I am not sure he even realized it, as he was very well adapted.  We called Obie our Swiffer Puppy, because he was soft and fuzzy and white and his fur collected everything.  He had two surgeries to attempt to restore his sight.  Neither restored his sight, but he came through both surgeries without a hitch, which I did not even think to thank God for at the time.  After each surgery, he wore an e-collar to assure he would not paw at his eyes while they healed.  Obie was the only pet I ever knew who LOVED his e-collar.  He would stand in the middle of the living room listening for Max the Cat or Herbie Dog, then run at them full speed, picking their hind end up in his e-collar and make them play “wheelbarrow” with him across the room.  Then Max would scowl, or Herbie would stand confused, and Obie would smile a big blank-eyed smile with his tongue hanging out.  He had the best smile, as beautiful as any Greyhound’s smile.  He was the happiest dog I have ever known.

When Obie died, Mom and Dad sent us a TCBY gift certificate and a card that I still have.  I realized recently that I have not been back to TCBY, my favorite yogurt place ever, since we used that gift certificate.  How could I have not realized that sooner?  It has been almost ten years.  That’s a weird thing not to notice.  Now that I have, I probably still won’t go back.

Stephanie gave me a very sweet card too and a bag of Hershey Hugs, and a real one.  I have also not eaten Hugs since I ate that entire bag in one day.  Also weird.  I love chocolate.

I miss you Obie.  I love you.  I’m so sorry buddy.

I have told myself all these years that I have not written about Obie or discussed his death much because I don’t want people to think anesthesia isn’t safe.  It is.  I also probably do not want people to think leaving their pets in my care isn’t safe.  Who knows why I waited?  I didn’t even know I had frozen yogurt and chocolate issues until recently.

But also, I probably haven’t said much because I didn’t want to go through this.  What was I thinking writing this when I am alone?  It has been in my head so long, I guess I just figured it was a rainy, depressing day anyways, so why not?  This is horrible.  But maybe it will be better later.  Most days are.  Some are still pretty rough though.  Guess I just made this one of them.

Age children should be before they own a reptile: 6.

Age children should be before they have primary care of a pet: 12.

Age children should be before the family owns a pet prone to aggression: 18.

Age I was married: 24.

Age I had my second child: 30.

Favorites…

Favorite dog name: Joey Cupcake.

Favorite cat name: Mr. Narwhal.

Favorite rabbit name: Junie B. Jones.

Suggestion for their new bunny’s name: Judy Moody.

Dogs or cats: both.

Being a vet or being a Mom: being a Mom.

Crabby owners or crabby pets: crabby pets.

Treating or preventing: preventing.

Hamsters or pit bulls: pit bulls.

Dogs I have disliked: 0.

Cats I have disliked: 0.

Number of years I have been a vet: 8.75.

Number of years I have been a mom: 7, including gestation.

Number of crabby owners I have had to deal with lately: 1.

Number of crabby pets: 10 maybe? But if you have read “Will Benji be there?” you understand why it was not their fault!

Primary guideline for scheduling appointments: No crabby owners, crabby pets are just fine.

Coworkers who stand by that with me because it makes work very fun: 5 of 5.

Coworkers on my list of favorite people: 5.

Percent of pets who come in for prevention-related reasons: 90.

Percent of pets who come in for treatment of disease: 10.

Hamsters who have bitten me: 3.

Percent of hamsters who have considered biting to thank me for their great care: 98.

Pit bulls who have bitten me, or even tried: 0.

How these statistics, excluding the hamster bites, make me feel: happy.

Average lifespan of a dog: 12 years. Oldest dog I have known: 17.  Breed: Poodle.   Average number of years that are added to a dog’s life when fed properly: 2.

Average lifespan of an indoor cat: 13 years. Average lifespan of an outdoor cat: 3 years. Oldest cat I have known: 21. Breed: Siamese. Indoor or outdoor: Outdoor.

Average lifespan of a betta fish: 1 year. Age of our betta: 3. Secret of Fish’s youthful beauty: oxygen.

Most common cause of death in pocket pets and exotics: improper diet or housing. Amount of Internet information on pet care that is accurate: 50%, I would guess. But I still maintain that it is a great place to start.

#1 cause of death in cats and dogs: euthanasia due to behavior issues. #2: euthanasia due to overpopulation.

Most common signalment of a dog with cancer: senior patient who has had excellent care and grown old enough to develop cancer. Most common issue owners who have pets with cancer deal with: guilt. Stages of grief owners go through at the loss of a pet: 5.

Percent of dogs and cats over 2 with dental disease: 80. Frequency of dental cleaning recommended for average adult pet: once a year.

Average lifespan of guinea pigs: 5. Age of Piggy: 3. Most common vitamin deficiency in guinea pigs: C. Animals that do not make vitamin C: Primates and guinea pigs. Amount of vitamin C in Piggy’s daily supplement: 25 mg. Number of guinea pig diets with adequate vitamin C: 0. Number of guinea pig liquid supplements with adequate vitamin C: 0. Diseases Piggy has had: 2. Diseases related to vitamin C deficiency: 0.

Most common vitamin deficiency in birds: A. Most common vitamin deficiency in reptiles: D.

More favorites…

Favorite rodents for children: rats and guinea pigs.

Favorite rats from children’s literature: Nicodemus and Templeton.

Favorite mice from children’s literature: Mrs. Frisby, Herman the Great and Ralph.

Number of favorite dog breeds I have: 23. Number of least favorite dog breeds I have: 2. Number of breeds I have mixed feelings about: 4. Favorite canine from children’s literature: Carl.

Other favorites: Ann and Dan.

Number of favorite cat breeds: 1.

Number of least favorite cat breeds: 0.

Favorite feline from children’s literature: Socks.

Here is the second of hopefully many, many newsletters for Riley’s Fan Club. Dave and I talked about newsletter content, and decided I would cover a different medical topic every other month. I tried to write the first newsletter on heartworm disease, and it turned out to be on health maintenance (not such a different topic). I tried again to write a newsletter on heartworm disease, and this one is completely off the wall, but bear with me… I believe it is just as important.

I held onto this newsletter for several weeks until today, when I had to euthanize a precious pet for a grieving owner. The only way this sad ending to such a horrible disease made any sense was to picture the bunny hopping, once again healthy and young, from her owner’s arms into the arms of God.

You recall from my first newsletter “I love to be boring.” I love helping owners maintain the health of their pets. Yet, inevitably we end up in the exam room or living room or outdoors, making end of life decisions… hopefully with an old pet, full of years. However, sometimes it is a pup with a rare disease, a kitten who has had an accident, a pocket pet who is here for only a matter of months… you get the idea. Most of you have been through the heartbreak. We live 80 years or so, they live 10 years or so… that’s a lot of sadness for animal lovers like us.

Almost without fail, a question comes up that I am not qualified to answer. I was not taught the answer in veterinary school. I was not taught the answer in church. But I need the answer as badly as you do, and I am absolutely sure of my conviction. So please work through this with me. Do not be offended or afraid to disagree. I will just walk you through my heart struggles and hope it helps you answer the question for yourself.

Everyone has asked at some point in their life “Do pets go to heaven?” and I can tell you when a seven year old asks, almost in a panic, before you are about to euthanize his friend, a shoulder shrug will not suffice. When Russ and I held our first dog Benji, knowing what a rare, horrible, untreatable heart condition he was suddenly dying of, I had to be able to tell Benji that it was ok to let go–not for his own sake, but for mine.

Do pets go to heaven? I can tell you emphatically “YES!” Of course they do. Do you want to argue the philosophical questions of whether or not they have a soul? Whether heaven exists? Whether this is all there is? I will be happy to, but debate is not my strong trait. You may have guessed… I lean a tiny bit toward the emotional. However, I will try to move on to logic…

1) Animals are not separated from God by sin.
There is no such thing as a “bad dog,” or a bad creature of any kind. Not really. They do what they instinctively know or have been conditioned to do. They are not born with a sin nature, as we are.

2) Animals have inherent worth.
Every animal is actively created by God. If we have to back up to “Does God exist?” or “Is the creation account of Genesis true?” we’d better talk in person! If we agree on these, and that God is good, I believe we can surmise that God still has his hand in active creation in the world. Therefore, even if Benji had not been our pet, but a wild mountain poodle, he would still be important to God, and thus worth keeping beyond this world.

3) Heaven is perfect. Jesus has gone to prepare a place especially for us there.

4) The Bible says that animals are there.

5) Do you think heaven is not big enough??

If, when we get to heaven, we do not see OUR beloved pet, we WILL see our Savior, and be so overwhelmed, everything we wondered about will be outshined, or make perfect sense or both.

I hope with all my heart that this is a happy time for you, that you have your pet in your lap at the computer, or are maybe deciding on a pet to adopt when the time is right. When you do have to make the difficult decision to end a friend’s suffering, or have to go through the pain of having a pet pass away, I want you to have peace. Peace that he or she will be with you when you get to heaven. At least peace that ultimately, everything will be ok.

Most often, it is not the seven year old who stops me before euthanasia to ask if their friend will be in heaven. It is the adult, who asks and then says with his or her eyes, “I don’t care what you believe or whether it’s true. I need you to say ‘Yes.’”

Now you know… I have not told you “yes” in your saddest time to make the grief process less painful, though I hope it has. I have not told you “yes” because I know you need desperately to hear that everything is going to be ok. I have told you “Yes, your friend will be there” because I believe with all my heart it is true. I BELIEVE our pets will be with us in heaven, but I KNOW God is good, and really, if we have that assurance, everything will be ok.

Benji and Baby Amanda, 2/00